An Open Letter to the Person Selling an Autographed Erik Bedard Jersey on Seattle Craigslist

Good day, person who is selling an autographed Erik Bedard jersey on Seattle Craigslist, how are you? I hope you are doing well. I hope your life is going in a direction you’d like it to go and your plans and goals and dreams are being realized at a pace with which you are comfortable. Before we get down to brass tacks, I’d like to start this letting with a confession. My confession is this, person who is selling an autographed Erik Bedard jersey on Seattle Craigslist: I enter the name “Bedard” in the search bar of Seattle Craigslist on an almost daily basis, in hopes of one day finding a Seattle Mariners Erik Bedard jersey at a reasonable price and reasonable size. Such behavior sounds insane, I know, but this confession, while somewhat strange and embarrassing, does not cause me any significant anxiety or shame. It is an idle activity that I’ve incorporated into my morning routine, one that takes but three or four seconds of little to no effort, after which I go about my day unaffected. The truth is, I don’t see any other option for me, someone who would like to own a Seattle Mariners Erik Bedard jersey. Physical stores are no help, the closeout jersey’s long gone. Internet shopping produces no hope, only confusion and the threat of electronic virus infection. I check Ebay from time to time but have nothing to show for it, and so the local electronic classified ad website seems to be the only reasonable place to continue conducting my search. This is where you come in, person who is selling an autographed Erik Bedard jersey on Seattle Craigslist.

Your listing, while closer to fulfilling my wants and desires than most, is not ideal. I would like to applaud you on your excellent taste in baseball team, baseball player, and baseball jersey, but no doubt the size of a framed, autographed uniform is much too large for my slender, some might say weak, frame. I certainly would prefer to wear an Erik Bedard Mariners jersey on my person, but would be willing to make an exception in this case were the price to be agreeable. I would gladly display this framed, autographed jersey in my garage, and gaze upon it daily with happiness. The jersey would no doubt spark interesting and amusing discussion amongst guests and myself. I would continue to seek a wearable alternative, but would still take great satisfaction in owning this item as well. Seeing as you once purchased this Erik Bedard Mariners jersey yourself, I don’t feel as if I need to elaborate on why I desire to own such a thing. The left-handed pitcher holds a strange power over people like us, person who is selling an autographed Erik Bedard jersey on Seattle Craigslist, and you and I share an understanding, a shared appreciation of his unique charms. I hope you will take this connection of ours under consideration when reviewing my offer for the item—our bond is so strong as to transcend the fleeting value legal American tender.

Your asking price for the jersey is 100 dollars. I understand why you would arrive at such a figure. It is a figure that is probably lower than the one you originally paid for the item, a figure lower than the sum of the jersey and the frame that encases it, the invaluable autograph upon the jersey notwithstanding. Taking all this under consideration, as well as the four-to-six weeks that the jersey has been listed for purchase, I’d like to offer you 20 dollars. I look forward to your response, person who is selling an autographed Erik Bedard jersey on Seattle Craigslist. God bless.

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2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Person Selling an Autographed Erik Bedard Jersey on Seattle Craigslist

  1. Mary Retallick says:

    I bought this from the guy for $100. Érik Bédard is my favorite player and it is hanging proudly in my apartment. http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3873/021mtj.jpg

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