Tag Archives: Tampa Bay Rays

Call to the Pen: Luke Scott Watching the Election Results

Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

Luke Scott is watching the election results. He is alone and he is drinking an American beer. A lager. Light. He doesn’t really care which kind, they all taste about the same and they all make him feel about the same. Luke Scott is sitting in front of his television. He sees men in suits and women with smart haircuts. They’re talking loud and touching screens and there are numbers everywhere.

Luke Scott thought he would feel more nervous than he does. More anxious. Mostly he just feels tired. The people on the screen are talking. They’ve been talking for a long time. They will talk for a long time yet. He takes a drink from his beer, holds the bottle up to his eye. He squints, looks through the brown glass. The room is dark and distorted. The television still glowing. He swirls the remains of the bottle around in a circle in front of his face. He lowers the bottle to his lips and drinks the last of the liquid. It tastes thin and metallic, dry and bitter, too warm. Luke Scott stands up and heads to the kitchen for another.

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Things Baseball Players Have in Common With Scuba Divers

Both wear masks.

I mean, if you’re a baseball catcher you wear a mask and if you’re a scuba diver
you also wear a mask.

Both require the breathing of oxygen.

Expensive equipment?

Both wear wetsuits on the job.

Actually, no, that’s just scuba divers. Damn it.

Something about the Tampa Bay Rays.

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Call to the Pen: 2012 Season Review Series: Tampa Bay Rays

Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

You may have heard this before, but life in the AL East is rough. Especially if you’re the low budget Rays. There are the Yankees, spending billions of dollars every season and never not winning. There are the Red Sox, doing the exact same thing (until recently). Even the Blue Jays are a smart, rich, and savvy organization these days! Not only that, in a year when the Red Sox were kind enough to be terrible, the Baltimore Orioles decided to just be all sorts of clutch and opportunistic and awesome, one-run-game-winning their way all the way to the top of the division. What is a poor team with a terrible home stadium to do?

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Jeter is an Overhyped Singles Slapper

I have neither the time nor the talent to properly summarize the glorious contents of the above internet video. Or I’m a lazy and terrible blogger, you decide! Suffice it to say (I just spent like six minutes on the internet trying to determine the proper phrasing of that term) that there are Yankees players being grilled like American Meats, using walkers like old people, and CC Sabathia being netted like a beached whale. There are also pirate ships, an eye-patch, batters swinging, missing, and screwing themselves into the ground, and all sorts of topical and appropriate jokes regarding baseball and baseball teams. Watch it. Feel mirth.

Embedded YouTube videos are really great for mailing in blog posts.

Thanks to CBS Sports Eye on Baseball (the Home for All Baseball Fans) and C. Trent Rosecrans and Dayn Perry for bringing this wonderful creation to my attention. I don’t really know how to properly give credit on the internet but I think that about covers it.

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Call to the Pen: Davey Johnson Calls Joe Maddon “A Weird Wuss,” Delights Nation

Look at this fucking Weird Wuss

I’m a really big fan of the new and exciting term “weird wuss” that Davey Johnson has gifted to all of us. Davey Johnson is an American Hero. Between all of the different internet destinations that I indulgently mumble my thoughts, I’m sort of running out to ways to describe my enjoyment of “weird” and “wuss” combined in holy union. With that in mind, I’d point you over to Call to the Pen, where I blabbered about this subject at some length, while also naming a handful of players who are either Weird, a Wuss or the rare breed of Both. Because I love you, dear reader, here’s an exclusive sneak peak of that list of players: Zack Greinke, Tim Lincecum, Alex Rodriguez, Others. Please consider your appetite sufficiently whetted (gross).

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A Conversation About The Rays and Pitchers

brad: caitlyn: “When Chris Archer makes his MLB debut today, he’ll end a streak of 232 straight games of the Rays starting a pitcher they drafted.”
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyle: holy fuck
that’s fucking insane

brad: who was the last one???
kazmir?

Kyle: garza?

brad: right

brad: since 2008 the rays have had 13 pitchers make starts for them
9 of them were drafted by the rays

Kyle: wild

brad: the other 4 being:
matt garza
edwin jackson
scott kazmir
mitch talbot

kazmir and talbot made their FIRST major league start with the rays
jackson made 14 starts with the dodgers
garza made 24 starts with the twins
thats like the coolest thing ever
they haven’t had a “veteran” starting pitcher since like 2007

Kyle: man that’s crazy
fucking rays

brad: jae seo
cassey fossum
mark hendrickson
those were the veteran pitchers the rays went outside their organization for in 2006/7
you have to go back to 2005 and HIDEO NOMO
to find anyone who had 100 starts outside the rays prior to pitching for them

Kyle: hideo nomo hahaha

brad: james shields 198
scott kazmir 137
david price 103
matt garza 94 (24)
jeff niemann 91
andy sonnastine 80
wade davis 64
edwin jackson 63 (14)
cassey fossum 60 (60)
jeremy hellickson 46
mark hendrickson 44 (34)
doug waetcher 35
seth mcclung 32
jason hammel 28
jae seo 26 (76)
hideo nomo 19 (299)
jp howell 18
tim cocoran 17
alex cobb 15
matt moore 14
dewon brazelton 8
brian stokes 4
rob bell 3 (68)
john webb 1
mitch talbot 1

every TB starting pitcher from 2005-2012
bold means they were drafted by the rays
parentheses are the number of starts they had in the MLB before starting for the rays
number not in parentheses is number of starts with the rays in the last EIGHT years
13/25 were drafted
18/25 made their first start for the rays
of the 7 who didn’t make their debut with the rays, only 4 had more than fifty starts, and only 1 had more than a hundred
EIGHT YEARS!

Kyle: i wish i was a rays fan

brad: plus they didn’t resign carl crawford
they’re SO SMART

Kyle: hahaha

Kyle: hey do you mind if i just copy and paste all that rays pitcher talk into a blog post?
i dont feel like writing one today
and it’s at least interesting

brad: yeah
of course

Kyle: the best part is that you did all the work

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Call to the Pen: 2012 AL East Division Preview

There’s only so many hacky ways one can write that the AL East has a ton of good teams. You know this to be true, I know this to be true, there’s not a lot of room left over for creative insights. Well, sure, there probably is, actually, but let’s not sit here and pretend like I’m going to come up with any of them. All I’m going to do is write semi-ironic sentences that end in lazy exclamation points. Something like: The American League East sure does have a lot of teams that are really good at playing the sport of baseball!

Moving on: I previewed the AL East over at Call to the Pen. Click yourself on over there to read about all five teams—a best case scenario, worst case scenario, and storyline to watch for each of them. I have this little hope inside that that Blue Jays put everything together, catch a few breaks, and somehow snag one of those weird Wild Card spots. That would be a lot of fun, I think.

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Call to the Pen: Don Zimmer: Man, Ballplayer, Nightmare-Inducing Plaything for Children

You may or may not have heard about this Zim Bear, the promotional item being given away for free by the Tampa Bay Rays. If you have, then you know it’s goddamn bananas. If you have not, you’ll soon know that it’s goddamn bananas. Head on over to the popular baseball blog Call to the Pen and read words about it. The baseball career of Don Zimmer is also covered in brief. And these two things are brought up, you’ll have to click through to see why and how:

But seriously, I’m going to buy a Zim Bear or two on Ebay.

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