Another Day, Another Silly Ass Felix Hernandez to the Yankees Trade Idea

Welcome to the Trance of Felix Hernandez, where every post is dedicated to the Mariner’s Cy Young Award winning pitcher. This is not true. Last night’s frantic grasp for a topic just happened to have him featured. It could have been any combination of established Major Leaguer and incoming rookie, I just went with Danny and Felix because I’m most familiar with the Mariners, and that made it easier to make up fake words for them to say. Not a lot easier, but a little, and when you partake in an extravagant and exciting lifestyle such as mine, every second counts.

At any rate, people are writing about baseball on the internet, as they do. And they’re making up trade scenarios that will land Felix Hernandez in New York, as they unfortunately do. As a Mariner’s fan, I’ve kind of grown immune to Yankees supporters dreaming about Felix Hernandez in pinstripes. Sure, it’s obnoxious, but who could blame them? I’ll admit I’ve allowed myself to imagine players like Joey Votto and Tim Lincecum wearing a Mariners uniform. It’s pretty normal to want your baseball team to have good baseball players on it. So when it’s some dude on Twitter or in the comments section of an article offering Jesus Montero, Ivan Nova, and that pitcher who can throw with both arms in exchange for Felix because “the Mariners suck anyway,”  it may perturb me a bit, but I’m not usually moved to a response.  However, when it’s some ESPN employee and former Baseball General Manager voicing similar ideas, I guess I’m a little more sensitive.

In his latest article, Jim Bowden spells out “five big trades that should happen.” A rather bold headline, but whatever, good for him. Own it, Jimmy. We can ignore four of these proposals, because who cares. What concerns us at the present time is as follows:

So StupidJesus (no pun intended). I might not even have the patience. Where to start? One of Bowden’s arguments is that in order to become “a contender” the Mariners might just have to make this deal. As if having a homegrown, 5 to 6 win pitcher entering the prime of his career on the roster isn’t something that could help with that. He also fails to mention that Jesus Montero can’t catch and is right handed. Two things, one specifically, that really makes him not a great fit for Safeco Field. There’s a reason why Jack Z preferred Justin Smoak in the Cliff Lee trade, and sweet Lord may he still be right about that. Ivan Nova, no matter how many runs the Yankees scored for him last season, is simply not as good as many claim, and is becoming more overrated by the second due to last season’s irrelevant WIN total and the media market he plays in. Bentances has all the promise to be really awesome, but I can’t help but notice a 23-year-old with a bit of an injury history who’s increasing his walks by a not unnoticeable margin as he climbs up the ladder of competition. I don’t think this package of players really gets close at all to what Felix is worth. And no matter how dire the Mariner’s position in the AL West seems, or what fat vegan we could possibly dream about paying with the money saved in a deal like this, the bottom line is that good organizations get good value when they make moves. This proposed deal does not even approximate appropriate value. I didn’t even mention that Bowden used “wins” as a reason to get excited by a future Felix-less rotation, but I think I’ll leave it (mostly) alone, I doubt he meant anything by it. If I could inelegantly appeal to authority a bit in closing, Keith Law was asked about this proposal on Twitter, and this is what he had to say:

Half There!If you come at The King, you best not offer half price.

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