This is a terrible idea. I’m stuck at home today because of a very long story involving a leaking and water damaged apartment ceiling and some shady, nay, dubious business practices by the building management. The key part is that some guys are doing work in my apartment today and I’m hanging out and looking at all of it, pretending I know enough about what’s going on in order to ensure there’s no half-assing or unsafe tomfoolery afoot. It’s all very exciting.
And so I am now in the position of being pretty much sequestered in a single room with a lot of furniture and two weird cats. I could read some great work of literature or use the internet to consume a transcendent work of art or learn useful information, but instead I’m going to blog about this Caribbean Series baseball game. This is known as being productive.
I’m woefully unequipped to even attempt this. The little I know about the Series and its details comes from these two helpful posts over at FanGraphs (One and Two). But I feel like I’ve set a sufficiently low enough standard for myself that I can flail about attempting this silly endeavor anyway and no one will really mind.
As I write this, there are excited shots of the crowd and announcers speaking Spanish about what I can only assume is baseball. It looks really warm. So I guess here we go?
11:10: In what can only be described as a complete and total sign, I lost my internet connection going into the first inning and now there are are already two men on base and one out. Someone just hit an RBI single. I’m still trying to figure out which teams are even playing. This is very professional.
11:14: A strikeout looking and the announcers are very excited.
11:15: A hit through the left side of the infield and the runner from second is thrown out at home! That was the sport of baseball being played!
11:19: The teams playing are Aragua, of the Venezuelan Winter League, and Mayaguez, of the Puerto Rican Winter League. So that’s something we know now!
11:26: The Perma White is almost dry, so it will soon be time to start skimming on some drywall mud. Wrong thing that is happening right now, sorry.
11:28: I’m rooting for the team from the Venezuelan league because Felix Hernandez and Jesus Montero and probably other Mariners are from Venezuela. And they’re winning so great.
11:34: If it wasn’t already obvious I don’t speak Spanish.
11.39: With one runner on, a double down the right field line is mishandled by the fielder and then stuck in some kind of weird pile of wires along the wall, or perhaps it just went under it, I couldn’t tell. Either way, the runner has to hold at third and Puerto Rico gets screwed. This is quickly remedied with a single that scores both runners.
12:00: Well, this sure was a lot of fun! It may only be the top of the fourth inning, but after a few distractions all happening at once I’m suddenly coming to my senses. It must be the paint fumes currently giving me a headache that is responsible for this. I must tend to other important things that are not at all this blog or post. So good try, I guess?
12:04: A single followed by a strike out! Baseball!