I know that nobody cares about your fantasy team. Or is it my fantasy team? This is going to be a confusing post. Watch how confusing I’m going to make it. I know that nobody cares about your fantasy team or my fantasy team, but what about a fantasy team that doesn’t even exist? What about a practice fantasy team? What about a fantasy team that only existed for a few fleeting moments and for the sole purpose of preparation for the drafting of a real fantasy team? Real as in fake. Real as in permanent. Permanent as in it will only last for one full baseball season. Does nobody still not care about my fantasy team if it was a mock drafted team? What if it was my first mock drafted fantasy team of the season? Nobody still doesn’t care? Nobody is hard to please. Well, not really, because it’s totally reasonable to not care about a real (fake) or mock fantasy baseball team. Nobody can’t be blamed for not caring about this shit. Let’s move on before I jump out of a window.
I participated in my first mock draft of the season recently. It was an important moment for me, as it marks the somewhat official start to the fantasy baseball season and many months of me flirting with divorce from my wife. Below, I’ve included an image of that team, because I find it hilarious. If you follow baseball and fantasy baseball, you might find it hilarious as well. I don’t know, maybe I’m just weird. Probably. I mean, have you read this fucking post? You have. Haha, joke’s on you.
The team is full of previously hurt and/or elite players who sucked last season. That’s why it’s maybe funny. I might even be wrong about that assessment (both the roster and that it’s potentially funny), but it sure felt that way while the draft was happening in real time, so let’s just stick with it, because I’ve already written like 300 nonsense words and I’m committed at this point. This was a wussy ten team mock, because I wanted to ease into this monster. Beachy was an accidental auto-pick and I left the draft after the 17th round, but I can’t believe Edwin Jackson fell that far. Volquez as the last pick is wildly appropriate.