Call to the Pen: Chase Utley Returns to Phillies Lineup, Fulfills Prophecy

I just did a Google image search hoping to find a humorous picture of Chase Utley to accompany this post. I probably could have tried a little harder, I mean there has to be something out there, but instead let me tell you what I learned. Chase Utley likes beanies and seems to wear them a lot when he’s not being a baseball player. Chase Utley may or may not have one or two dogs. This probably isn’t news to you, but Chase Utley slicks his hair back in that weird way and then hangs out in the dugout without a hat or helmet on. He does this often and it looks fucking terrible. Does he slick it back before the game and then just throw a hat over his wet and cold head? Is that why it stays like that for so long and looks so weird? Is there some sort of product in there? Is he constantly applying more water and/or product during the game to keep it looking that way? Doesn’t he know he’s on television? As a guy who regularly allows his hair to grow somewhat long, I understand the agitation of having stupid, annoying hair all over your ears and face and shit, being all unruly and uncomfortable and even more so when you’re trying to do stuff like picking an object up off the ground or playing professional baseball or whatever. So I get it. Just slicking that shit back behind your ears feels a lot better. But I have to imagine if I knew I was going to be on TV all the time I might think of a different solution to this problem. Maybe just cut my hair more often. I don’t know.

Oh right, here’s my post about Chase Utley over at Call to the Pen. It’s about how he’s good at baseball but sometimes hurt and how the Phillies have been pretty bad but maybe now they’ll be better and stop losing so many baseball games all the time.

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