Assorted Thoughts on Last Night’s Mariners Game

Holy shit, Felix Hernandez. That sentence could really serve as the entire post and I’d feel pretty alright about it—it would also save me some time. But nah, let’s frantically jot down a few more things about last night’s Mariners game. For posterity. The title I wrote into this draft last night does say “thoughts” plural, so the last thing I need is an avalanche of false advertising comments and accusations, and believe me, there would be an AVALANCHE.

  • We were in King’s Court for this game. The place in Safeco Field where they give you yellow t-shirts and yellow “K” placards and you yell and scream the whole game. It sounds kind of silly, and maybe it is, but goddamn if it isn’t a fun and exciting atmosphere. Even more so when Felix is absolutely dominating the fucking Red Sox.
  • Before the game, we were accosted by Alcohol Enforcement for the second time in as many trips to the ballpark (I wish I could say our behavior warranted this kind of attention, at least then it would make sort of sense and a good story, but alas, we were just standing there, acting like people). They said they remembered us but still took a half-hearted look at our identification and then gave us a stamp. The stamp was of the Mariner “S” logo so I guess it could have been a lot worse. It could have been a super lame smiley face or a flower or something stupid like that.
  • Sometimes I feel sorry for Mariners bloggers and I wonder how in the fuck they manged to stay active and engaged and write about this team every single GD day. Then games like this happen and I suppose it makes it all worth it. Also, they’re probably a lot more talented and motivated than I am and have greater faculties and ideas.
  • I’m really annoyed right now that I can’t read Lookout Landing or other Mariners related blogs. I need to write this nonsense without being influenced or colored by other people’s thoughts but I really just want to read about that awesome game.
  • Justin Smoak laced another well hit ball that was soon after caught on the warning track of Safeco Field. Unofficially, I think that’s the 347th time that’s happened this season. Poor bastard. Maybe he needs to just do like, 5 more pushups each day.
  • Casper Wells sure had a lovely game. I wasn’t able to see his second excellent catch in the 8th inning because my view was obstructed by the stands I was sitting in, but holy shit, what a nice catch. Two nice catches in a row! In a very close game at important and high leverage situations! In the top of the 9th, when he returned to the outfield, the King’s Court chanted “Casper, Casper, Casper” and he acknowledged the crowd with a hat tip and it was a very nice moment that I won’t even snark about. There some some weird hero voodoo buzzing around the stadium when he came up to bat in the bottom of the 9th like this was his game—all of that is of course nonsense but then he hit a double and later came around to score the winning run and sure why the hell not I’ll take it and it’s awesome.
  • Felix Hernandez.
  • This might have been the best Mariners game I’ve ever attended live, all things considered. Granted, I have a terrible memory and drink a lot, so who the hell knows all the other games I’ve been to. There’s something transcendent and mystical about a shitty team having it’s best player come through and utterly dominate against a really good juggernaut of a franchise. And I find pitchers more compelling than position players. Felix pitched his ass off. He threw a complete game shutout and struck out 13 on 128 pitches against the stupid Red Sox. It was a really great game to attend live and in the section named after Felix wearing a yellow shirt with his name and number on it, no less.
  • I couldn’t exactly see a good number of Felix’s strikeouts, because I was in a section where during every single two strike count, everyone stood up and then yelled and then raised large pieces of paper into the air with their arms. It sort of made viewing difficult sometimes. Now would be a good time to review the tape. Let’s review the tape together and then meet back here and discuss what we watched.
  • Yeah, that was fucking awesome.
  • There are few things I’ve ever enjoyed more as a Mariner’s fan than watching Felix Hernandez strut off the field, fired up and spewing intensity after a big out/inning/performance.
  • Objectively, in the top of the 9th inning, after an Ortiz single and Saltalamacchia walk, it would have been a good time to go to the pen for a lefty to face Adrian Gonzales. It would have been the right move, and no one would have been justified in questioning it. The King’s Court and others chanted “Let him pitch. Let him pitch,” and Felix stayed in the game and there wasn’t a single person in that stadium who wasn’t ecstatic. This is the Seattle Mariners for christsakes, Felix is literally our only good player.
  • On our way home, once we got off the freeway and started heading into our neighborhood, every single intersection was a green light or turned into a green light as we approached. There were a ton of wide open parking spots right in front of our apartment. Sometimes, for whatever reason, everything goes exactly how you want it to. Sometimes things just work out.


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