I do a lot of armchair, never-played-the-game type analysis. I look at baseball numbers and baseball people and what they say and do and try to make arguments and reach conclusions and I do all of this from the comfort of my own home. I don’t get out and rub the dirt and smell the socks or whatever it is clubhouse access and/or prior professional baseball experience allows one to know and do. I just sit here at my computer like an idiot and type words with my smooth, uncalloused, and delicate fingers. Lately, the aforementioned comfort of my aforementioned home has been compromised, because it’s really, really hot outside and it’s making life terrible. And while I don’t believe I’ve ever sat up here on my previously cool and well ventilated Internet High Horse, casting down judgement on weak players expiring under the unforgiving heat of the sun’s merciless rays, I now pledge, here, before you, Nature, Pyrios, Aeos, Aethon, and Phlegon, to never do so in the future.