An Interview With Felix Hernandez’s Right Elbow


Reporter: I just want to start by thanking you for agreeing to do this. This is going to be really big for us. Anytime we can get an exclusive we’re all really excited, so thanks again.


Reporter: Yeah, so, we might as well just get down to it. Crazy last couple of days, huh?


Reporter: I just meant, you know, with the whole “complications” issue and everything. Has it been stressful, knowing that your health has been causing a hold up on a 175 million dollar contract?


Reporter: No offense or anything, it’s just that 175 million dollars is a lot of money. That kind of thing would weigh on anyone, or, anything. How have you been holding up under all of this scrutiny?


Reporter: Reports are that you and Felix will be heading to Spring Training and working on your regular schedule. That has to be a promising sign, right?




Reporter: Goddamnit, you guys, you said this would work.


Reporter: I mean, seriously, I’m talking to a fucking elbow.


Reporter: Yeah, yeah, hilarious. I’m the asshole—awesome, great. Let’s just pack everything up and get out of here.


Reporter: I hate all of you.



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One thought on “An Interview With Felix Hernandez’s Right Elbow

  1. philip says:

    Left elbows are like drummers: You never know what to expect. Sorry you got the silent treatment .Wasn’t it Steve Carltons left shoulder that got him that bad rep with the press?


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