Tag Archives: FanSided

Call to the Pen: Derek Holland Shaves Mustache, Becomes Bad at Pitching

Headline says it all, folks. Mustache = Good pitcher. No mustache = Bad pitcher.
Read my super scientific analysis of this very important issue over at Call to the Pen.

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Call to the Pen: MLB’s Memorial Day Caps: Some Notable Examples

For a decent portion of my childhood there was the head of a deer hanging in my living room. I currently have some antlers hanging in my very own adult apartment. All this is to say that I grew up in the woods and so I have a weird affinity for camouflage. Do with that information what you will. It was not very elegantly rendered. On the topic of camouflage—yes, this is what I was trying to get to—my latest post at Call to the Pen is about the baseball hats that all the professional baseball players will be wearing this Memorial Day. They have camouflage on them, have I not made that clear? Some look kind of cool and some look kind of not cool. Some are the orange Miami Marlins hat with camouflage inside the multicolored logo.

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Call to the Pen: Old Man Baseball Writer Irritates, Saddens

My most recent post over at Call to the Pen went up yesterday, and it’s about this article this one old dude wrote about how dumb and inhuman and elitist (read: intelligent) sabermetrics are and how they don’t account for awesome human emotions and feelings and whatever other nonsense he said that I can’t even remember anymore because I’m so bored by the whole thing. I wrote about how tired all of this is, and how it kind of bums me out when old dudes, who I assume to be perfectly pleasant and affable gentleman in real life, spout this garbage and get the whole internet up in a puff and mad at them. We should all be friends! We all like baseball and could talk about it together! Maybe. I normally post these companion posts here on the same day of the Call to the Pen publishing, but this time I’m a day late. Mixing it up, people. Keeping shit fresh.

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Call to the Pen: Erik Bedard Injured, Water Wet

You may have thought that I couldn’t possibly write about Zack Greinke or Erik Bedard anymore. If you did think this thought, you, my friend, were sorely mistaken. I’m working on a Carlos Beltran post in my mind as we speak. After that I’m going to make another list or seven. I really only know how to do like, two or three things in this life, total. Variety and creativity are bullshit. So yeah, Erik Bedard got hurt again. I wrote about it at Call to the Pen. This is what he does, do not fuss.


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Call to the Pen: Buying What Bryce Harper is Selling

It’s getting late in the day and you still probably haven’t read a hypothetical rendering of Bryce Harper as a street vendor selling handmade jewelry. It’s time to change all that. If you actually have already read such a thing, first, that’s an incredible coincidence and second, I’m willing to stake my reputation on this version being superior. If it’s not, please get in contact with me, provide the applicable documents of proof, and I will gladly eat my hat. Speaking of hats, Bryce Harper is a baseball player, and he wears one often (segue). If the jewelry bit doesn’t do it for you, read on and discover why I’m totally a fan of the weirdo. I’m not really sure why, actually, but the heart wants what it wants, kids.

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Call to the Pen: (Isolated) Power Rankings!

I already sort of used up all my Power Rankings jokes in my post at Call to the Pen. So just read that. Read the post and the jokes contained therein and perhaps chuckle once or twice. You might enjoy yourself. But don’t hold me to that. The post involves the statistic Isolated Power (ISO) and how all the teams fare against one another when compared using said statistic. Really heady stuff. Really in-depth analysis.

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Call to the Pen: In Celebration of Kenny Powers, Eastbound and Down

Eastbound and Down is dead. Long live Eastbound and Down. In my latest post at Call to the Pen, I celebrate the life and times of Kenny Powers and the television program he starred in. I leave you with this, perhaps my favorite scene:

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Call to the Pen: Adventures in Umpiring and Writing About It

Umpiring is a hot topic in baseball right now! Read all about it over at Call to the Pen. If it’s not clear from the post (and it might not be, because I am a terrible writer), I’m kind of bored of this whole topic but can still see the utility in constantly bringing it up and beating it into the ground. We’ve got to point out the ridiculousness, even if we’re tiring. This is somewhat conflicting, and yet necessary. I’ll leave it at that and let the below image stand in for my frustrations.

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Call to the Pen: Even More White Hot MLB Predictions

Opening Day. The Masters. Twitter. Work. There sure were a lot of things happening at once for this sporting fan during the day. I somehow survived it all, sanity as in tact as it will ever be. The Padres and Dodgers are playing baseball right now. Clayton Kershaw has the flu. Baseball is now officially back and is not going to leave for a long time. That’s cool with me. It’s a tradition unlike any other. Wait, that can’t be right.

What with baseball being back at all, I figured it would be appropriate to pile on a bit more MLB predictions over at Call to the Pen. These aren’t your standard boring predictions—records, division winners, award winners and the like, these are some white hot predictions. Dangerously hot. So hot that some of them are kind of legitimate and involve reality, while some are complete nonsense. I trade in baseball nonsense.


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