Tag Archives: Hall of Fame

Call to the Pen: One Man’s Hall of Fame Ballot


Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

Jack Morris

I like my Hall of Famers to be mediocre, and with mustaches. Just something I believe in.

Ryan Klesko

He was nice to my dad one time and so I always promised myself I would honor that kindness in this way.

Lee Smith

I totally buy into all that garbage people say about the ninth inning, and mentality, and heart and guts and grit and saves and shit.

Barry Bonds

One of the greatest baseball players of all time, but he was probably a cheat, so as a sign of protest I waited until the fourth spot on my ballot to list him.


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Call to the Pen: Smelly Bloggers Admitted to BBWAA








Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

These guys write about baseball on the internet, so they are nerds, no doubt. But they are not the basement dwelling, hot pocket consuming nerds you read about in the curmudgeonly pages of your local newspaper. There’s this other preposterous assumption floating around out there that to know and understand sabermetrics is to actively despise live baseball and the beauty of the game. This, like most preposterous rumors, also turns out to be unfounded. An active antidote so such thinking, these gentleman celebrate baseball down to the most minute, and some might even say, the most insignificant details. In addition to traditional analysis, these guys write poems about the game, break down the facial hair of the all-timers, they examine baseball cards and write philosophical manifestos on the happiness inspired by following baseball. They are also transparent and accessible members of the community, which is significant, I believe.


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Some Chipper Jones Facts

  • He plans to retire at the end of the 2012 season
  • That’s why I’m writing this post
  • His given name is Larry Wayne Jones, Jr.
  • He was the first overall pick in the 1990 amateur draft
  • Ken Griffy Jr. and Alex Rodriguez were also first overall picks in the amateur draft
  • Don’t remind me
  • I already did, sorry
  • He has played, and will play, his entire career as an Atlanta Brave
  • Unless they trade him
  • That would be hilarious
  • And terrible
  • He was a World Series Champion in 1995
  • He was the NL MVP in 1999
  • I feel like he should have been the NL MVP more than one time
  • What are you gonna do?
  • His current career triple slash of .304/.402./.533 is fucking ridiculous
  • He has currently complied 87.5 fWAR
  • That’s pretty good
  • Hall of Fame good
  • First-ballot Hall of Fame good
  • But they’ll probably fuck that up
  • Like they always do
  • So it goes
  • One time he cheated on his wife which resulted in his having a child with a Hooters waitress
  • People don’t like to talk about that
  • He has a son named Shea because he used to really rake at Shea Stadium
  • People really like to talk about that
  • He has a charity wine called Chipper Chardonnay
  • Which I bet is terrible
  • Because Chardonnay is awful garbage wine
  • And it’s made by a baseball player
  • I bet he’s pretty sick of that goddamned Tomahawk Chop by now


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