This photograph is a metaphor.
I’ve been slacking on the baseball writing like an MF’er lately because I quite literally bought a goddamn house. It’s been a busy and stressful time so get of my back, alright?
Seeing as I didn’t follow baseball last night, I really don’t have much of anything to rely on for reference or inspiration in this post. All I know is I like baseball, and you like baseball, and here we are, stuck in this awful mess I’ve constructed for the two of us. I have followed baseball’s current season rather closely, though, at least up to this point, so why don’t I just wing it? It wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure. How much could have really changed? Baseball players are people and people are predictable. It’s not like anyone hit three home runs in a single game or got suspended for performance enhancing drugs or anything like that. That kind of stuff never happens! So if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to offer you a handful of things I’m almost certain happened last night in the sport of baseball: