Tag Archives: Pitching

Call to the Pen: At Least Your Team Didn’t Sign Jonathan Broxton to a Three-Year, $21 Million Contract

Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

Free agents will be signing contracts soon. Teams have kicked all the tires there are to kick, they’ve looked at all the statistics and medicals and all that other secret junk they have that they won’t tell us about. They’ve ran the numbers, baby. The rubber is about to hit the road, the ink to hit the paper. Wheeling and dealing and making moves and all that. And some of those moves are going to upset fans—most of them, probably. Free agency isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, really. There’s a lot of negotiating and overpaying going on out there. Extra years and extra money always seems to get tacked on before things become official. A player you’d be ecstatic to sign for four years is suddenly a bummer when the team commits to five. You can feel the roster constricting, the holes that won’t get filled, disappointment looms. It will happen. Your favorite team will hurt you. And when it does happen, dear reader, take solace in the fact that at least your team didn’t sign Jonathan Broxton to a three-year, $21 million contract.


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Some Potential Reasons Why No One Is Interested In Signing Edwin Jackson

He has bad breath caused by gingivitis

He’s refusing to sign with anyone but the Pirates

Long held suspicions regarding his involvement in covert German spy missions on US soil

A gross misunderstanding of his skill set, durability, and subsequent value to a baseball team

Reputation for constantly challenging teammates to fisticuffs

That fucking inverted W

Breathes too loud

Shameful, unrelenting racism


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