Tag Archives: San Diego Padres

You are Dead to Me, Carlos Quentin

fuckthat

That’s it, Carlos Quentin. You are dead to me. Following your inevitable suspension, the next time you come to bat or take the field, I will see nothing. I will see air. You have become an apparition. Like the ships of Columbus set down on the shores of the New World, unseen by the bewildered eyes of the native peoples, your visage to me will be invisible, incomprehensible. For you are dead to me, or even more than dead, you are a void, a blank line. Erased. Never existed. Your father’s seed never swum, your mother’s womb never blossomed. You were never conceived nor nurtured nor birthed. You are dead to me, Carlos Quentin, or even more than dead. No one fucks with my Zack.

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Call to the Pen: Chase Headley Drawing Trade Interest, Good at Baseball

I’ve always had something of a soft spot for Chase Headley, San Diego Padres baseball player. Don’t ask me where that soft spot is specifically located, just know that it’s there and I’m fine and let’s move on ok thanks. Dude gets on base, he plays a somewhat valuable and scarce position, he hits switch with a bit of pop and runs the bases with a bit of speed. It’s an overall wonderful, if not enthralling package. Headley is underrated because he doesn’t thrive at one single thing with a lot of noise, but rather does many things very well with minimal racket. I seem to like those kind of players. Now, it seems a few Major League teams are taking a shinning to Headley’s brand of baseball as well. They would like to trade for him because he’s good and won’t make very much money for a couple more years. Analysis: Talented players who make less money than they’re worth are extremely valuable in baseball. Read all about it over at Call to the Pen, please.

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Call to the Pen: Even More White Hot MLB Predictions

Opening Day. The Masters. Twitter. Work. There sure were a lot of things happening at once for this sporting fan during the day. I somehow survived it all, sanity as in tact as it will ever be. The Padres and Dodgers are playing baseball right now. Clayton Kershaw has the flu. Baseball is now officially back and is not going to leave for a long time. That’s cool with me. It’s a tradition unlike any other. Wait, that can’t be right.

What with baseball being back at all, I figured it would be appropriate to pile on a bit more MLB predictions over at Call to the Pen. These aren’t your standard boring predictions—records, division winners, award winners and the like, these are some white hot predictions. Dangerously hot. So hot that some of them are kind of legitimate and involve reality, while some are complete nonsense. I trade in baseball nonsense.

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