Tag Archives: Science

Call to the Pen: Jeffrey Loria Conducting Complex Social Experiment on People of Florida

Please click this internet hyperlink to read the entire post over at Call to the Pen

Because, you see, Jeffrey Loria is an independently wealthy and clandestine social scientist, and the people of Florida are his test subjects. He builds them up, and then breaks them down, all the while keeping detailed notes on his observations and results. Loria watches the baseball team in Florida, they win the Wold Series. There is elation. The team is then gutted. There is sorrow. Loria sees this and acquires the team, abandoning his previous social experiment in Montreal for more fertile territory. Loria hammers revenue sharing checks for a while, and then wins the World Series again. Remembering what he has learned from his forebearers, the team is once again gutted, and more monies are pocketed. Lows and highs. Highs and lows. Loria giveth and Loria taketh away. Loria observe the emotional turmoil of the turnstiled masses and Loria make record his findings.


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Call to the Pen: Derek Holland Shaves Mustache, Becomes Bad at Pitching

Headline says it all, folks. Mustache = Good pitcher. No mustache = Bad pitcher.
Read my super scientific analysis of this very important issue over at Call to the Pen.

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